I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
