How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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