i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize