I love having hate sex.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize