life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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