I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
