you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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