i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
