three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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