MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize