He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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