he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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