I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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