Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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