Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
