Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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