Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
