Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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