we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm at about main and main street
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?