what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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