that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
