You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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