so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
