i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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