that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize