I like my sex mixed with concussions.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
pray to the hookup gods
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
