That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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