i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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