How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
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The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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