This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
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filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
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SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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