didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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