You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
