Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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