Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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