erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
