You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
