Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I deserve this hangover.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
