my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize