She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
