So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
