omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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