she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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