sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
