put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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