I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
babies were throwing up all over the place
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Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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