I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
