what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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