Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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