i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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