I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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