I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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