I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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