You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
