I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
