Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
