Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize