I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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